Positive developments

I don't have a lot of body confidence. I know it's cliche to be a woman and have body hang ups, so I'll make this clear - I used to be happy with my body. At the end of my teens, start of my twenties, I had a body I was happy with, that I understood, that I could dress well and know my clothes suited me. And then I had my son, and got sick, and spent a few years bloating out and not understanding my physiology enough to be able to change that. Part of the reason why I like doing herbalife is because of the energy it gives me, and the chance to think about what I'm doing with my body again. I'm not like a health food crazy, but I'm more restrained. My body's getting back to the way it was when I was happy with it, like I wanted. It's been slow because I've been crap with herbalife through June and half of May, but I'm back on track now.

And I did something I've never done before. Ever. Even with my happy-body. I wore a bikini. I know that sounds melodramatic, but I do prefer onesies. Unfortunately, my boobs become besties with gravity when I wear one. And I found a Kelly Brook range in New Look months ago, and she understands what it's like to be a big-on-top girl, and this bikini has been floating around my room for ages. We were going to the beach today, and last time we went I had so much fun playing in the shallows with Noah, that I wanted to go further. I'm not a strong swimmer, but he's little and wouldn't go too far. I wanted us to enjoy ourselves. So I wore the bikini. That I now resemble a lobster is nothing, I gave Noah a lot more than I've been able to for a long while, thanks to my shitty energy levels and headfuck. Today was fun. Even if I still have some way to go (and no Lydia, I have no side-on shots. They all looked pornographic!) I'm not sorry I'm making you look at it. Gallbladder surgery scars and all:

How on earth did I forget this?!

So, I don't think I've even mentioned this! God, what's wrong with me?

Okay, so a couple of months ago, someone from the Supernatural fandom world and I were talking, and she said she really wanted to go to Asylum 14 next May. And I offered to help her out, not by buying the ticket, but by doing something, finding some way of contributing. I would have just given her some of the cost of the ticket, but I knew she wouldn't be comfortable with that. She does Chibi drawings a lot, so we hammered it out until she agreed to draw some of my characters as a commission piece, and the money from that would go to her ticket. She got the ticket, and worked her butt off on the commission. Bless her, she was worried it was taking so long, but we'd gone into our summer sale at work and the days were flashing by and I honestly didn't notice when her imposed time limit was gone. She kept saying sorry, but honestly, the most important thing for me was that she was going to be able to enjoy herself (coincidentally, the woman I'm sharing a room with at Asylum 13 offered to help someone else, and got refused. Which is fair enough, money makes people weird, but then the same person kept moaning she couldn't afford a ticket, and then they all sold out and she didn't have one and it's like, dude, you had a brilliant opportunity to go!)

Anyway, she sent me the final product a few weeks ago. I love it! There's a few things I didn't expect (like Carter's shirt is bright for him. Must've been baseball day, haha!) but I love what she's done. Especially with Lambrini, since I can never quite picture her (although my friend Holly sent me a picture of a character from Waterloo Road, and she comes close) so now I have some kind of visual representation to refer back to.

Wanna see the picture?:

If you haven't read my stuff, they're probably just cartoons to you. But this is the two main characters, and their friends (at least, the ones dominant in the first four/five books) and it took me ages to work out who I'd want a picture of. Can you imagine if I'd asked for Carter's entire family? She'd still be working on it, for sure!

I need to get off my butt and carry on writing it, really!

Trouble

Another video book review! Hope you enjoy it. It's probably too waffly :/

The Fault In Our Stars

You can hear traffic constantly! I have abrupt edits because I had to cut off my mother calling me every two seconds! I totally disregard my most recent post (until like, the last ten minutes, anyway ;) )

Enjoy! It's effing long:

*ETA: I can't upload it for some reason, blogger's pretending it doesn't know crap about my youtube, even though they're on the same google account. Whatever, google plus! so sorry, it's a link. Maybe because it's 45 minutes long?!*

zee moans about TFIOS

Awwwh!

So, I haven't talked too much about it on here, though I have talked about it at some point, but I've been trying my hand at erotica in fan fiction. I'm surprised at how okay I am at it, all things considered. I've had to explain some BDSM stuff to two different people based on my last chapters, which is so surreal for me. How do I know all this stuff and you guys don't?!

Anyway, so the big project I have going on, with my longest chapters ever (current one I'm working on is estimated at 8k. I tend to do 1-2k per chapter. Gerald won't know what to do with me!) I've done two versions of, for each of the two main characters. They have such different perspectives, and different things going on in their lives (which marries up with the show beautifully. Okay, I confess, this is Destiel. Heavy slash Destiel. Totally NSFW. And it's so much fun to do) and even though the main thread of the story is the same and I don't change events or speech … well, this is the comment someone made this morning when she read some of it:

"I've never read companion writing before yours. Wasn't sure what to make me the idea, but when i started reading, my god, WELL impressed with how different the same story can be, its so cool!"

I'm so pleased about that! It's a big ask to make the same story different, but I think it's because I've employed a few little tricks to keep it going:

-One is written in third person, the other in first. Which means one gets to be more descriptive, and one is more colloquial, and emotional.

-One is meant to be more romantic, and touching. The other I'm trying to inject some humour in. Writing in first person means the reactions can be the most comical bit, especially when they misinterpret each other.

-They're not together 24-7. What happens when they're apart lends the stories a different flavour.

It's so much fun to see people's reactions to the different stories, although the third person one is getting more of a response. I think because it came first and then people are worried that by trying the second, it would be really repetitive? But if you'd want to read, let me know, I might link you, if I think you can handle being scarred mentally. I mean, at one point there's an angel buying supplies in an S&M shop in Amsterdam, so you already know it's going to be pretty messed up.

And I'm totally going to hell.

Good timing!

Last night, I drove home in the middle of a thunderstorm. I freaking loved it. But the best part of seeing forked lightning streak across the sky in front of my little Fiesta was the music. I was playing McFly's memory lane album, and the timing was exception. Like there was a line about storms *lightning flash* and seeing someone through driving rain (driving through driving rain). I mean, yeah they were making metaphors, but you cannot time that kind of perfection!

I was sad when the storm ended before I got home, the sky owed me like, a giant flash across the sky as I put the handbrake on, just to tie it up neatly! Okay, it didn't owe me, but that would have been amazing!

Surprise! I've been busy plotting

For a reading/writing blog, I don't talk much about other books on here very much. But I've solved that now:

My editing sucks. So does the sound quality. I was nervous doing it, and taping it trying not to be overheard by the many members of my family, who would just take the piss (ahhhh, family!) so if I seem like I'm whispering, it's because I thought I heard them on the stairs ;) Still, I hope this can be a regular thing. I can be very opinionated.