Positive developments

I don't have a lot of body confidence. I know it's cliche to be a woman and have body hang ups, so I'll make this clear - I used to be happy with my body. At the end of my teens, start of my twenties, I had a body I was happy with, that I understood, that I could dress well and know my clothes suited me. And then I had my son, and got sick, and spent a few years bloating out and not understanding my physiology enough to be able to change that. Part of the reason why I like doing herbalife is because of the energy it gives me, and the chance to think about what I'm doing with my body again. I'm not like a health food crazy, but I'm more restrained. My body's getting back to the way it was when I was happy with it, like I wanted. It's been slow because I've been crap with herbalife through June and half of May, but I'm back on track now.

And I did something I've never done before. Ever. Even with my happy-body. I wore a bikini. I know that sounds melodramatic, but I do prefer onesies. Unfortunately, my boobs become besties with gravity when I wear one. And I found a Kelly Brook range in New Look months ago, and she understands what it's like to be a big-on-top girl, and this bikini has been floating around my room for ages. We were going to the beach today, and last time we went I had so much fun playing in the shallows with Noah, that I wanted to go further. I'm not a strong swimmer, but he's little and wouldn't go too far. I wanted us to enjoy ourselves. So I wore the bikini. That I now resemble a lobster is nothing, I gave Noah a lot more than I've been able to for a long while, thanks to my shitty energy levels and headfuck. Today was fun. Even if I still have some way to go (and no Lydia, I have no side-on shots. They all looked pornographic!) I'm not sorry I'm making you look at it. Gallbladder surgery scars and all: