Talent

So, I have this friend. Who I think is pretty amazing, and does a great job at anything she tries to do. She seems to do things so effortlessly, whether it's selling products to customers or writing her own story or creating beautiful things.

And she blogs - don't worry, I won't link it if you don't want me to - and in her latest entry, she's feeling untalented. Because her boyfriend has a natural affinity with music, and everything he tries, she says, he does better than her (doubt it).

But I don't think it's the case. Like, certain people I blackmail with my possible tantrums would call me talented, but I don't think I am any more than anyone else. I love writing, and I can't not write (tried, failed. Failed BADLY) but although I think I'm okay, I know people far better than me. Like, one of my NaNo friends sent me her synopsis for a competition we've both entered, and her storyline blew me away. Her 500-word, one page synopsis drew me in. And there's a possibility I could say "I'm not talented because my synopsis isn't like hers!" and I did think it for a second, but … we're writing for different people. We're writing different stories, in different genres, from different viewpoints, in different styles. It's ridiculous comparing our stories, because hers is Fantasy, and sounds a little bit like 'If Stardust involved Greek Mythology' (it is that good) and mine is, well, Lambrini and Carter. My best-friends-that-live-in-my-head. If she were writing my story, would it work as well? If I was writing hers, would I have her impact? You just can't know.

And talent is a parlour trick. You need to practice it just as much as anything else. That's the secret, that's all there is. Like, I used to be okay at drawing, but you should see me wield a pencil now. I've forgotten the skill involved. I didn't hone it. But writing, I do that near enough every day. I beat NaNo on day 26, I beat 100k in 100 days already (It's day 59. I'm meant to have 59, 000 words written for the challenge. I have 115,225). Okay, sometimes I'm not writing Lamb and Carter. I'm having a teeny break from them, now I've finished book three (book four scares me. Book four is the game changer) but I blog on here pretty much every day. Sometimes, like with the recaps, it takes me days to post, but every day I'm on my laptop.

Because if you do something over and over again, you get muscle memory. You adapt, you learn the tricks, you learn how to get faster, to make the connections quicker, to adapt it to similar situations. I wrote 4,242 words yesterday that could count to my totals. I've written about 2,000 today that can't. I feel like I'm talking all the damn time!

So no, he's not necessarily more talented. He practices his guitar, and his fingers remember the chord changes quicker because they've done it so much. He can draw sketches the way he did because he probably doodles all the time. Has he tried writing? Because I'm sure you'll trump him at that (but just in case, keep practising). Don't be jealous that he can sing, because hardly anyone can sing well anyway, and instead of feeling upset about it … make him serenade you! Just, without songs about how you look like a goose.

That's not to say that people can't be talented. Talent is often the little spark that gives you the joy needed to involve yourself in the endless practicing, the moment where you go 'I don't completely suck at this!' But measuring your talents against others? That's a good way to go down a path of self-destruction. It's just damn hard not to try to see where you fit in ...

It's not normal

I just streamed the latest Supernatural episode. Oh my fucking God, what are they trying to do to me? So many goddamn feels! I'm actually fighting tears, because of it. I don't think I can talk about it though, because Cat reads this blog and she's not streaming it, so she doesn't know. I need to remember which people from the convention have watched because I actually think I'm emotionally damaged from it. And the dumb thing is, it was a positive, here's-some-hope, kind of an episode.

Maybe it's because they're so few and far between and it's a little bit like 'well, how badly am I going to be mentally damaged when the writers sweep that out from under our feet?' I can't enjoy the happy-cry-y times because they never get happy-cry-y times!

I'm going to hyperventilate into a paper bag now.

Siobhan watches: Supernatural. Season One, Episode Eight. "Bugs".

Ugh, I know, do I ever write anything in this blog these days that isn't a recap? But honestly, I've just written 4356 words in Departed and I'm on the final bit and my work hours are low and apart from eating a shit tonne of cake lately, and watching a couple of films in the cinema (Wolf of Wall Street last week, That Awkward Moment tomorrow) I haven't really done that much. Just writing. Endlessly writing. Also, I read a John Green book. Looking For Alaska. It got recommended to me by someone I met through NaNo. I probably would have hated it more if it weren't for the absolute drivel I've been reading lately. Looking For Alaska was like freaking Dickens after that slop.

So, on with the show! This one is an average length episode at 41.33. After the catch-up sequence, we go to Oasis Plains, Oklahoma. A new housing estate is being built there. We see the construction workers hard at it, building the houses and moving the supplies around the site. Near one house, a site manager is spray painting the ground. He says to his co-worker that they're building nice houses, he'd like to live there. His co-worker jokes back that he can't afford it. As the first guy agrees that they'll be expensive, his friend notices something on the ground near an old tree, and the ground seems to be shuddering violently there. The first man continues talking about the new neighbourhood, and squishes a bug on his neck. He hears a yell, and turns around to see a gaping hole by the tree.

He runs over, calling for his friend who yells back that he's trapped, with a broken ankle. As his friend gets a rope, the guy in the hole, while holding his ankle and gasping in pain he notices something moving in the hole he's stuck in. Bugs, lots and lots of bugs. He screams for help as they crawl up his body, and his friend, who is already rushing to get the rope out of the van tells him to hold on.

The friend rushes back to the hole with the rope, and shines his flashlight in the hole, almost vomiting as he looks down. The bugs have eaten him alive, his face smeared with blood.

I know, gross, right? I know these initial scenes are normally the most graphic and horrific, the tense moments to let you know where Sam and Dean are headed next. I don't have a problem with that being the formula of the show, it's a good identifier considering they live either in the Impala or in motels. But I don't get why the first guy, the one who wants the houses, was so freaking panicked about getting the rope in the first place. Okay, his friend had a busted ankle, but before his friend called for help, he was hyperventilating like he knew of the imminent bug attack. He didn't. Fucks sake, Kripke and McG, why'd you let this extra in?

We cut to a rowdy bar. Someone's leaving on a motorcycle, so you know this place is hardcore. Outside in a car, someone is reading a newspaper article covering the scene we just saw. It's Sam, who's subconsciously nodding his head to the classic rock that's playing on the sound system. Dean comes out of the building, as seen through the Impala window, laughing and waving a handful of cash around. Sam tells him that they could earn their money by taking on day jobs occasionally. Dean points out that hunting is their day job, and it leads to a morality lecture from Sam. Dean says it's how they were raised, and Sam points out they had a messed up childhood. Dean changes the subject by asking if they have a new case, and Sam explains the story. Official cause of death was Mad Cow Disease. Dean asks if it was on Oprah, and Sam smirks as he asks if Dean watches Oprah. Dean changes the subject back onto the case.

I think this gets a theme. If you hit a little too close to home, or question Dean's masculinity/sexuality? He will change the subject. He's allowed to avoid issues. You are not. You includes Sam, in this case.

And Dean totally watches Oprah.

Sam says the death is weird because Mad Cow disease can take years to manifest, but this guy lost brain function within an hour. They decide to check it out. In Oklahoma, they go to the gas company, and find the witness, Travis. Dean's cover when talking to Travis is that they're the deceased guy - Dustin's - nephews. They flatter Travis and push on with questions about Dustin's death. They don't find out anything that Sam hasn't already covered, but Travis does give them the location that it happened in.

I wrote the above on the 10th. It is now the 18th. I apologise for any inconsistencies in the duration of that week, I've seen a lot in those 8 days.

Anyway, Sam and Dean do seem to have a tendency to convince people pretty easily to supply them with information. The only instance I can think of where this doesn't happen is when they're dealing with magicians.

Back at the building site, the boys pull up and head towards the hole. They discuss what they know so far of the case, and Dean wonders if some animal ate through Dustin's brain. Sam shoots that theory down, saying the animal would have worked from the inside. Dean says the hole is only big enough for one and asks Sam if he wants to flip a coin. Sam points out that they don't know what's down the hole.

Dean - "Alright, I'll go if you're scared. Scared?"
Sam - "Flip the damn coin."
Dean - *laughing* "All right, call it in the air. Chicken."

Sam grabs the coin in mid-flight and says he's going. Dean volunteers to go, and Sam puts his foot down. They tie a hose around Sam's middle as a make-shift winch, and Sam tells Dean "Don't drop me." 

That is so much macho bullshit. But they knew where each other's buttons were. Dean knew that, by calling Sam scared, he'd want to prove himself. Sam knew Dean likes to be in charge and to be slightly reckless. They're baiting each other.

In later seasons, people talk about how Sam and Dean "aren't as close as they were" but to me, it's always been evident, and this scene supports the theory, that they don't get along. Ever. There's too much between them, even at the start. Resentment and conflicting emotions and misplaced roles. If Dean were actually Sam's mother, and they still lived the Hunting life? I don't see how there'd be much difference in this show. Dean might fantasise about Fabio rather than strippers, but that might be the limit of the difference.

Later, in the car, Sam has a dead bug in his hand. He pokes it gently with his finger. Dean's reaction is to be unimpressed.

Dean - "So you found some beetles. In a hole in the ground. That's shocking, Sam."

Sam starts talking through insect behaviours, and how there were no tunnels or tracks, or other types of entry into that hole that matched an insect's pattern. He goes on to beetle's diets, and Dean interrupts to ask how many bugs were in the hole. Sam says 10. Dean says that's not enough to eat a guy's brain, and Sam bites back, saying there must have been more. Dean says it sounds like a stretch, and Sam starts listing the research they need to do on this case. Dean notices an open house in the neighbourhood and tells Sam it's a good place to start.

And again, sorry, it's been a long period between writing, it's now the twenty-third. This has taken me so long to get into, and I'm sorry. Personal reasons as per explained on my other posts.

But I want to analyse, briefly, the above section of the recap. Dean is dismissive of Sam's theory, even though Sam's pretty apt about what happened. What we don't know yet, and need to find out, is why.

As the boys walk into the open house, Dean mentions how he would be freaked out to grow up in a neighbourhood like it. Sam asks why, and Dean deconstructs suburbia to make it sound like a bad thing.

Dean - "Growing up in a place like this would freak me out."
Sam - "Why?"
Dean - "The manicured lawns, 'how was your day, honey?' I'd blow my brains out.

This coming from the guy who, at four years old, had to take on the role his mother left. And probably wasn't allowed to grieve properly, because his selfish father put the entire weight of the household onto his tiny shoulders. So now he swallows his emotions and feels like he has no one to turn to and has to play mother to Sam still, he's grown up knowing how to wield a gun and what would repel different evil incarnations. But suburbia, that's disturbing.

I actually just feel really bad for Dean, that this is his life, to the point he can't envy the idyllic life the way that Sam does. Or maybe he mocks it because it's too difficult to admit that he also wants the "apple pie life" but he's just too aware that he'll never achieve it.

Sam tells Dean "There's nothing wrong with normal." and Dean shrugs before replying "I'd take our family over normal any day."

They knock on the show house door and are greeted by the developer. He invites them in, asking if they're interested in buying property there. Dean says yes, and the developer, Larry, tells them "Let me just say, we accept homeowners of any race, religion, colour or … sexual orientation."

Welcome to the first of many, many references to Dean and Sam being a gay couple. And they wonder how Wincest came to be.

Dean jumps in to clear up the fact that they're brothers.

Because someone's uncomfortable with his sexuality. I see the way you look at your angel, I know you watch Dr Sexy, MD. Drop the act, Dean.

Sam embellishes the story, saying that their father is old and they're looking for a nice place for him to retire in. Larry gives them the spiel as they walk into the back yard, and explains that the open house is actually his new family house. He introduces his wife, Joanie, and makes bad jokes about her bigging the area before excusing himself. His wife gives her own sales patter, before yet another sales person appears, and banters with Larry's wife. The new woman, Lynda, who was second to move in, starts her own sales patter, which sounds just like Larry's.

yep, Lynda implies Wincest too. These people are kinda fake, to the point where I agree with Dean about blowing your brains out rather than living there. I'm trying not to focus on the obvious homophobia in this section, but haha, it is to laugh at gays *rolls eyes*. Sometimes, I hate how much Supernatural screams homophobia, and then I read Destiel fanfic and feel better that fans don't care how macho they try to be, Dean is clearly in love with another man. Angel. Male type person.

Come on, do you get this close to your best friend? Clearly, this is not an image from "Bugs."

Dean's reaction this time is a little better. "Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry, okay honey?" and as he walks away, he slaps Sam on the butt. Sam starts to wheel round, as though he's going to hit Dean back, but stops himself to look back at Lynda.

I don't think he did that in the sports coach way. I think he did that in a 'I'm really repressed' way.

Inside the house, as Larry talks Dean through options, Dean notices a few jars with bugs in. He comments on it, and Larry says they belong to his son. Meanwhile, Lynda is talking to Sam about the steam showers and tub options, and Sam is smiling and nodding along as best as he can, while looking extremely uncomfortable about the conversation topic.

Because he's a twenty-two-year-old male fresh out of college with no real opinion of different types of whirlpool tubs. He would probably have given Jessica whatever tub she damn well wanted.

Near Lynda's hand, a huge spider is crawling. Sam interrupts her flow, and moves her out of the way, and scoops the spider up, to the disappointment of the boy who has been standing nearby, watching and smiling. Sam takes it over to him and asks if he owns the spider. The boy asks if Sam will tell his dad, and Sam asks who his dad is. The boy says Larry usually skips him out of the family introductions, and Sam reacts to the boy using his father's first name. Sam tells him it'll get better, and Larry calls out for Matthew. The boy - obviously Matthew - turns, and Larry apologises to Sam about Matthew's spider. Sam brushes it off, and Larry drags Matthew away.

Sidebar: They chose this kid because he looks a little like Sam. Remember his face, because he gets possessed by an angel in a later season.

I'd take money on who now suspects some kind of voodoo on Matthew's part, but even in season one … what are you, new?

Dean walks up to Sam, and Sam nods to Larry and Matthew, asking if it reminded Dean of somebody. They watch as Larry begins to chew Matthew out. Dean looks baffled, so Sam explains he meant their father.

Dean has a look on his face like he is going to kill Sam. Like 'don't speak so badly of your father!' sort of look, the one you'd expect from a housewife who acts like she does nothing while her husband slaves away all day to put food on the table. Sam, you just insulted Dean's first husband. And you thought your daddy issues were bad.

Dean - "Dad never treated us like that."
Sam - "Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case." *Dean shakes his head in disbelief* "You don't remember?"
Dean - "Wel- maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line."
Sam - "Right, right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bowhunting."
Dean - "Bowhunting's an important skill."
Sam - "Whatever."

Dean is daddy's little soldier. Never thinking for himself beyond what he already knows. Sam always contested what their father did. Never more obvious than in that bit of dialogue.

Sam goes on to ask about the tour Dean had, and Dean sarcastically answers "Oh, it was excellent. I'm ready to buy." before he gets down to business, saying Sam was onto something. Dustin wasn't the first death in the area. A year ago, before the work started, one of the surveyors dropped dead. Severe allergic reaction to bee stings. They realise that bugs are the answer.

Good thing no bugs have been brought up throughout the show so far.

Guys, it's midnight, I'm tired. I should hopefully be able to wrap this up on Wednesday. Being optimistic, because tomorrow I have my nephew over and I have stuff to get, and Tuesday I'm at a charity fundraiser for my illness. And we're only 12.06 into this episode. We have 29.27 left. And this already goes on for pages! Lots of meat in this episode, clearly.

And you don't know it, but I'm back! Let's go!

The boys are in the Impala again, at night, trying to work out how so many different types of bugs could be making infestations in this one small area. Sam points out that sometimes bugs are involved in hauntings, and Dean says there's no evidence of ghost activity. Sam agrees, and then Dean speaks up that maybe the bugs are being controlled somehow. Sam says there are cases of telepathic connections between humans and animals.

*dies* Oh, this isn't funny because of Sam. This is funny because of Dean. In season nine, where he takes a potion that allows him to talk to dogs. He ends up … well, we'll see when we get there.

Dean jumps on the idea of Matt, and Sam tells Dean about the tarantula episode. Sam says it's possible, and Dean tells him to pull over. Sam asks what they're doing there, and Dean approaches the garage door, pulling it open and explaining that it's late. Sam asks if they're going to squat in the house, and Dean's answer is that he wants to try the steam shower. Sam pulls into the garage and almost hits Dean with the Impala.

And he survived after that. Dean really must love his brother, to put him before the car.

In another house in the town, Lynda walks into the bedroom. She puts the news on, where a reporter is talking about an insecticide due to West Nile Virus. We get a close up of the TV, where they attribute the problem to a large number of mosquitos. As she's watching, a spider crawls down Lynda's hair and across her eye. She switches off the television and goes for a shower. In the shower, just behind the shower head, more spiders start to crawl out. Lynda turns, and screams at the number of spiders now on her wall. She tries to run, slips on the tiling, crashes through the glass doors and begins to bleed, her blood swirling down the drain with the shower water. We see the camera pan into her room, following the trail of blood, and see Lynda on the floor, covered in spiders, clearly dead.

Supernatural can be a little dramatic with the deaths while people are still trying to work out what the hell has happened in each episode.

In the house Dean and Sam are using, Sam walks along the hallway and bangs on the bathroom door, demanding to know if Dean's ever coming out. We can hear their shower running as well. Sam lets Dean know that a police call came through on their scanner. Someone was found dead three blocks away. Dean cracks the door open, hair in a towel and lets Sam know that the shower is awesome.

Dean has a habit of being a little bit immature when Sam's really getting riled. I cannot wait for the trickster episode when he goes to town on it. It helps that Jensen is such a naturally funny person for those bits. And he looks damn hot, even if he has a purple towel on his head the way women wear them. Don't judge me.

Outside the house, the local coroners are moving a body out of the house, and Dean and Sam pull up in the car. They approach Lenny, who says that they're back early.

Also, it's raining and they have umbrellas. What are they, ninety? Why not hoodies, huh?

Dean says they're there to check out the neighbourhood again, and Sam presses to find out what's going on. Larry tells them Lynda died, but can't give more than that. He tells them it's not a good time. They wait until Larry walks away before they agree they need to get in the house, and see if there's a bug problem. They wait until the police cars have driven away before they start scaling the fence to get in. They immediately find a police outline on the floor, and see the broken door of the shower. Dean goes into the bathroom to investigate, and moves a towel out of the way. Several spiders fall out of the towel, now dead.

Dean calls Matt spider-boy, and Sam says it might be him. They drive to the school bus drop off, and wait for Matt to appear. When he does, Matt walks into the woods, away from his house. The boys climb out of the car, and follow Matt at a distance. In the woods, Matt has found another creature, and is boxing the bug up as Sam and Dean approach.

I haven't covered it, but I can tell that although Dean is going for the black-and-white 'Matt's using voodoo with his bugs' bit, Sam doesn't think it's him. It's interesting to see this in reverse, because Dean hasn't out and out blamed Matt so Sam can't deny it, whereas if it were the other way around, Sam would have already started his 'what if' questions on the presumption Matt was at fault, and Dean would have shut him down on it already. Sam never stands up to Dean when he doesn't agree, not properly (not until season nine, which I still haven't recovered from) but Dean will do so in a heartbeat. This just supports my theory on the whole 'Dean's the mom' bit, because you can't tell your parents that they're wrong. They won't ever let you.

Matt asks what they're doing out there, and Dean says they want to talk to him. Matt says "You're not here to buy a house, are you?" Dean scrunches his face up, in a way that lets Matt know that, of course they're not. Matt asks if they're serial killers.

Actually, yes. They've killed their fair share. Even discounting the undead and those who won't move on, malignant spirits etc. The tooth fairy's going to get it, witches, the humans possessed by demons, the humans possessed by angels, the Wendigo, and they always count the blood of the innocent that they weren't able to save. By definition, Sam and Dean are serial killers. But when they're killing evil incarnations … can it be wrong?

Sam laughs and says no, he's safe. Dean asks Matt about the insect thing, and if he'd heard about Lynda. Matt says yes, he heard she died that morning. Dean says "Mmm, that's right. Spider bites." Sam points out that Matt tried to scare her the day before with a spider. Matt realises they think he's culpable, and he explains it was a joke, and how could they explain the bee attack or Dustin? They give him the same bitchface, and Sam asks if he knows about those. Matt tells them that something's going on, and he doesn't know what, but it involves the insects in the area.

He leads them further into the woods, and Sam asks why he hasn't told his father about the bugs, to protect everyone already moved in. Matt says he's tried, but Larry ignores him. He's too disappointed in his freak son.

It's like Sam has a sixteen-year-old soulmate called Matt.

Sam - "I hear ya."
Dean - "You do?"

See what I mean? and Dean doesn't get it. But he knew a different John.

Sam asks how old Matt is, and when he says sixteen, Sam says in two years, something great is going to happen. College. And then he can forget his dad and live his life. Dean asks what kind of advice is that? You should stick with your family.

Dean's most repeated line ever: 'We're family, Sam.' Sam is being a major douchenozzle at this point, however. It's one thing to resent your own family for the things you've been through, it's entirely something else to recommend to someone else to ditch their family. He should have shut the hell up. Dean is going to kill him later.

The Winchesters size each other up for a moment, then, rather than arguing in front of Matt, Sam asks him how far away they are. Matt says, they're pretty close. Dean gives Sam another appraising look, and they carry on walking to the thing Matt wants to show them.

They reach a clearing teeming with bugs, and Matt explains that for AP science, he's been tracking bug populations. Dean says "You two are like peas in a pod" (In reference to AP science, on top of Sam's minor tantrum) and Sam asks Matt what's been happening. Matt says all the wildlife seems to be congregating into the clearing, all the bugs from the local area. Dean asks why, and Matt has no answer. Sam notices a mound of earth and asks about it, but Matt has no answers either. Dean walks over to investigate, and taps his foot onto a pile of earthworms. The ground immediately opens up. He pokes in the hole with a stick until he finds something hard. He reaches in, and pulls it out … and it's a skull.

And the best thing is, he doesn't even look grossed out or freaked in any way. He just kinda looks at Sam like 'and how does this fit with bugs?'

In the next scene, they drive to the local college, Sam behind the wheel. They stop, and Sam puts his jacket over the box containing the skull as they walk it into the labs. As they go through campus, they discuss the fact that there were more bones in the unmarked grave, and that maybe it is a haunting, some kind of unfinished business. Sam asks "The question is, why bugs? And why now?"And Dean points out, very helpfully, that Sam asked two questions. Dean changes the subject.

Dean - "Hey, so with that kid back there, how could you tell him to just ditch his family like that?"
Sam - "Just, uh, I know what the kid's going through."
Dean - "How about telling him to respect his old man? How's that for advice?"
Sam - "Dean, come on. This isn't about his old man. You think I didn't respect Dad. That's what this is about."

Interesting take from Sam, since he was totally projecting his own story onto Matt without considering Matt's actual situation just as much as he's accusing Dean of doing the same thing. But like I said in the first episode recap, as intelligent as Sam is, he can be truly ignorant of the world around him. He can't see that, with his advice, he was hurting Dean too. Because Sam didn't just leave John, he left Dean, and Dean never got a say in the situation. And, as it will turn out throughout the show, sometimes when Dean has a say - and increasingly, he does - he has the best ideas. May not seem like it at the time, but his intuition is impeccable. And Sam is putting the downer on him. Okay, in the above conversation, they're mentioning John, but Dean is trying to hint, without it turning into a chick-flick moment, that it's about how hurt he got too. And Sam never, ever seems to grasp that about Dean. He never sees how much he hurts him. Even at the end of The Purge, in season 9, when Sam says just about the worst thing you can say to another person.

Dean - "Let's forget it. Sorry I brought it up."
Sam - "I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough."
Dean - "So what are you saying, that Dad was disappointed in you?"
Sam - "'Was?' Is. Always has been."
Dean - "Why would you think that?"
Sam - "Because I didn't want to bow hunt. Or hustle pool. Because I wanted to go to school and live my life. Which in our whacked-out family, made me the freak."
Dean - "Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters."
Sam - "Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don't toss their kids out of the house."
Dean - "I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases coming out of your mouth."
Sam - "you know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad? I don't know if he's even gonna wanna see me."
Dean - "Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared."
Sam - "What are you talking about?"
Dean - "He was afraid of what could have happened to you if he wasn't around. but even when you two weren't talking? He used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe."

Sorry for the huge chunk of dialogue. There is so much subtext and exposition and character-building in it. It's not relevant to the story in this episode, but for the overall arc, it's hugely important. Watching it, seeing Sam getting increasingly emotional as Dean tries to reassure him that life wasn't as bad as Sam had thought, seeing Dean trying to work out if he needed to play the teasing brother or the nurturing mother roles that he's alternated with his entire life with Sam … this is only 8 episodes into an almost 200-episode total. This is why I love Supernatural. And like I said above, Dean had a view of the whole situation, and if Sam had shut up and listened to his big brother/mother he might not have been as devastated and misunderstood as he believed he was.

Sam has a huge thing about being a freak, throughout the seasons. He refers to himself as a freak routinely, and Dean is so good at just talking him away from that feeling, but it never lasts. And sometimes, Sam doesn't help himself.

We'll learn later, but John's attempts to protect Sam are both unnecessary and unfounded. By that I mean, he's going through the motions, believing he could protect Sam and Dean from the same fate as their mother, without at first realising that Mary brought her fate on herself. And when John does learn the truth about Mary, and Sam, he realises how it was all in vein. And I don't think John ever realised how bad it got, how Sam has been surrounded by demons his whole life. How Mary's fate was sealed when she agreed to Sam's.

And the saddest bit is that Dean is the most ignorant to all of this for the longest.

Sam asks why John couldn't have told him any of that, and Dean says he could have picked up the phone too. Sam looks ready to cry, and Dean reminds him that they have an appointment.

Because Sam is close to chick-flick territory. Although, I personally think they crossed that line.

The boys are talking to a professor, lying and saying they're students in his anthropology introductory class. The professor tells them that the bones look to be about 170 years old. From the time frame and geography of the area, he guesses that they're Native American. Sam asks if any tribes settled in the area and the professor says that there's no records, but then again, Native Americans moved fairly frequently at the time. Sam asks about local legends, and the professor tells them about the Euchee tribe in Sapulpa, sixty miles away from the college, and tells them that asking there might give them better answers.

So the boys head out to Sapulpa, and we see Dean leaning out of the car talking to one of the tribesmen, and being pointed along further into the reservation, which looks run-down and slightly trashed. They enter the local diner and talk to a man playing solitaire with a pack of cards, whose name is Joe White Tree. Dean starts telling Joe that they're students at the university, and Joe says no, he's lying.

Dean - "Um, well, truth is-"
Joe - "You know who starts sentence with 'truth is'? Liars."

Dean got pwned by the old man playing solitaire!

Sam decides to take over, since Joe is clearly not going to open up to Dean any time soon, and asks if Joe has heard of Oasis Plains. Joe looks at Dean and just says "I like him. He's not a liar." before saying he knows the area. Sam asks about its history and Joe asks why they want to know. Sam recaps the disasters, and discovering the bones, and their history. Joe tells them a story his grandfather once told him, which had come from other elders as well. The tribe used to live in the area, until the cavalry showed up. The cavalry raided the village, murdering and raping tribes members. This lasted for almost a week, and on the sixth night, every person still in that village was dead. As the tribal chief lay dying, he cursed the land, so that no white person would ever tarnish it again. That nature itself would protect the valley.

So the boys know they're working with an ancient curse, and their days of protecting those living in Oasis Plains are numbered. As they leave the cafe, Sam asks when Dustin died, and Dean provides a time frame to work from "Let's see. we got here Tuesday, so Friday the 20th." They arrived four days into the six day curse. Sam gives us more of a time frame. "March 20th. That's the Spring equinox." And then realises that at the same time, every year, any white person in Oasis Plains is in danger of the curse. Larry built the land on cursed land … and they're in town on the sixth night, that night.

Of course they are. Freaking Winchesters.

Sam asks how they break the curse to save Larry's family. Dean says they can't break the curse. You have to get out of its way, and they have to tell Larry, as soon as they can, to leave.

Back in Oasis Plains, Matt is outside. It's already dark. He unzips his bag and pulls a flashlight out, shining it around his backyard. He hears a lot of insect activity and bends down to smooth out the earth, and see what's below. As he does, the ground moves, and from under his hand a mass of cockroaches appears. He heads back into the house.

Sam and Dean are racing back to the neighbourhood, Dean on the phone to Larry. He's pretending to be from the gas company, saying that there's a gas line leak in their neighbourhood, and he needs to leave. Larry asks for his name, and Dean lies, saying he's Travis (the guy in the first scene who got all emotional about rope) and Larry says he knows Travis, he's been working with him on the project for a year, and he knows it's not Travis on the phone. Dean chokes, and hangs up, and Sam grabs the phone from him.

Sam calls Matt, and Matt tells him that the backyard is full of cockroaches. Sam tells Matt to get his family out, by any means necessary, as there are plenty more bugs on the way.

Interesting theme throughout this episode. Dean is portrayed as a liar, and Sam as an honest person. But  although it is a case that Dean's more prepared to cover himself, I don't think he's a dishonest person. Sam can be, because Sam withholds information constantly. And he can be plenty deceitful himself, but because he doesn't lie to get people to do what they should, he's being held up in front of the people they're trying to help as a good person. That's another running theme, because much, much later on, Dean and Castiel work a case and Dean tells Castiel he has to lie to people. When Castiel, in all his heavenly innocence, asks why, Dean tells him it's how you get people to do what you want them to do. When Castiel probes further, Dean tells him it's how you become president. But the angel - a freaking angel! - not only allows him to lie but encourages it, because he can see that Dean isn't lying to get ahead in life, or to put people down, but to save others. More on my thoughts on Dean/Castiel later (and no, not in reference to Destiel. I'll try to leave that out of it. Sometimes, it may be inevitable, but I do understand the differing interpretations of their relationship). I'm off on a major tangent, sorry.

Castiel could make Bush-level President?

Sorry, I just think they're so cute together, Destiel or not. God, I cannot wait to recap Cas.

Dean snatches the phone back and barks at Matt, "Under no circumstances are you to tell the truth. He'll just think you're nuts. Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you gotta go to the hospital. Okay?" Matt agrees, and they hang up. Dean looks freaked out, but says to Sam, "'Make him listen.' What are you thinking?"

Sam doesn't say anything about it, but Dean just proved him wrong. Because they wouldn't have needed to lie to John about something like an ancient curse on ex-tribal land. John would believe that. So Dean is not applying his version of their youth to Matt's situation. He is, however, treating Sam like John would have, with that parting comment.

They pull up outside of the house, and realise that the family is still there. They go up to the door, but Larry is there before they can knock, Matt running out behind him. Larry shouts at the boys "Get off my property before I call the cops!" and Sam, and Matt, start trying to plead with him to see reason. Larry yells at Matt to go back into the house.

Matt - "Sorry. I-I told him the truth."
Dean - "We had a plan, Matt. What happened to the plan?"

Ha, right in front of Larry. "This is why I told you to lie, douchnugget!"

Sam starts trying to be the voice of reason, saying that it's already midnight, and there's not much time left. Larry passes off their theory as a 'biblical swarm' and Dean chews him out, listing the deaths of the people he'd been working with as cases to consider, as proof of what all three of them were telling him. But Larry remains a skeptic.

Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy.

Larry calls Dean crazy, and threatens Dean if he comes near any of Larry's family again.

I knew that suburban-paradise act was a crock of shit. What a skeeze.

Dean says "Well, I hate to be a downer, but we got a problem right now." and Matt once again backs him up. They carry on arguing about whether Larry would really risk his family's life with his ignorance, until Dean shuts them up to ask Larry if he can hear it? There's the sounds of thousands of insect wings swarming in the area. Larry's bug zapper goes crazy with the volume of bugs suddenly hitting it. Dean says it's time to go, and Matt notices a huge swarm coming up past the moon and the treetops. They're too late to run. Dean orders everyone into the house, and when they get there, Sam asks if there is anyone else already living in the neighbourhood. Larry says no.

Larry asks his wife to call 911 and Dean demands towels. Sam tells Matt they need to lock all windows and doors, block up the fireplace, whatever they can to keep the house secured. Larry's wife says the phones are dead and Dean says the bugs must have chewed through the phone lines. He starts stuffing the bottom of the front door with towels as the power flashes out. And then comments that they probably chewed through the power lines too. Larry runs for his cell phone, then exclaims about the lack of signal. Dean tells him he won't get one. The bugs begin blanketing the house.

They all watch the nearest window as bugs attach themselves, crawling over each other, trying to find a way in. Larry asks what they can do now, and Sam says outlast it. That's all they can do. That hopefully, the curse will end at sunrise, to which Larry asks "Hopefully?" Dean meanwhile, walks into the kitchen, and bends below the kitchen sink to where they keep their cleaning products, searching through and coming up with a spray can of insecticide. As Dean sets to work on the can, they hear a creaking in the fireplace. Sam realises the bugs are in the chimney flue, and Dean decides they all need to get upstairs, away from the fireplace. It bursts open before they can move, and they're almost instantly covered with bugs. Dean starts spraying the bugspray over his lighter, and screams for everyone to move upstairs, as he moves the can into the swarm, burning and choking the bugs.

He goes last up the stairs, walking backwards, spraying as much as he can at the swarm to keep the bugs at bay while they seek sanctuary. They all head into the attic, Dean still spraying until Sam can close the hatch. In the roof, Joanie notices dust falling from the ceiling incessantly, and they realise there's a score of termites in the wood. Dean orders them back, and starts spraying again when the roof falls through and he can see through the swarm. Sam grabs a metal sign, and Dean finds a plank of wood, and Sam covers the hole with the metal while Dean secures it with the plank. As soon as it's secure, another hole falls through, further along the roof. Dean starts spraying again, moving towards that hole, as Sam fights his way through the bugs towards Larry's family. The insecticide flamethrower runs out just as the first hole is reopened. Dean manages to squeeze a little more out of the can before shouting 'crap' and throwing the can to the floor.

He joins Sam, and the family, huddling down and trying not to freak out too much from the bugs, before they notice it getting light outside, and the swarm leaving. They look out of the hole in the roof, and watch all the bugs go.

Later, or the next day, they drive by the house again, where there is a rental moving van. Dean asks if Larry was going to avoid saying goodbye and Larry says they had good timing, because they'd be gone in another hour. They shake hands and Larry tells them that the development is on hold until the government has investigated the bones found. Larry says no one else will live there again. Sam says larry doesn't seem too upset about leaving the development, and Larry says even though it was a huge financial disaster, he didn't care, looking at Matt as he talks.

The brothers smile, and Sam approaches Matt, who's binning all his bug containers. Sam asks him why, and Matt says now, they weird him out. Sam says "Yeah, I should hope so." and they both laugh. Sam walks to the car, where Dean is already waiting, and watching as Larry talks to Matt, and Sam sits next to him, watching too.

Sam - "I wanna find Dad."
Dean - "Yeah, me too."
Sam - "Yeah, but I just … I wanna apologise to him."
Dean - "For what?"
Sam - "All the things I said to him? He was just doing the best he could."
Dean - "Well, don't worry, we'll find him. And you'll apologise. And then within five minutes you guys'll be at each other's throats."
Sam - *laughs* "Yeah, probably. Let's hit the road."
Dean - "Let's."

I didn't talk through a lot of the last bit of that. Mainly because … this is what I meant last time, about it being a funny episode. I didn't mean it was a humorous one in the way Changing Channels or Mystery Spot or The French Mistake are, but funny, strange.

They never found a solution to the problem. They didn't even look. Because there are some things that you can't change, or avoid, and it's smart to know when to cut your loses. Good life lesson.

However, it then leaves me … how did they survive? How did every single one of them last the night? On just one can of bug spray and a towel? How short was that night? I know they condensed the time it took to lock the doors and search for bug spray, to attach the lighter, and all that. It took time for the termites to eat through the wood, I get that. But it was shot in a frantic way, and the lighting was poor, so the time transition never really came through.

But I know why it's the case, that they survived and the last few minutes represent so much time. It's because, for episode eight, the case is not important. It's not. The whole episode, as you can see in the dialogue, is about how they both feel about their father and their upbringing and how they apply that to their hunting. The whole episode is setting us up for something coming soon. Because soon? John is going to reappear. We've only got a handful of episodes to see if Dean is in any way spot on about how Sam and John are going to reunite.

Synopsis

So … I have a couple of author friends who have agreed to read through and try to tear apart Uprooted. That's cool, I want someone to point out exactly where I suck. But I thought it was only fair that I try to write a synopsis of the book so they're not going in blind, and it would give me practice as well for writing things like the synopsis, the blurb, etc etc.

My head's gone blank. Gah! Why is it sooooooo hard? I mean, I can sort of sum it up, except I don't know the genre and don't want to reveal everything and really want to make it sound interesting. And because that's a challenge, it makes me think Uprooted isn't interesting. Which makes me sad. I think it gets more interesting as it goes along.

We'll see how it goes, I guess?

**edit** I think I'm giving up already. We'll see.

Interesting.

Do you remember this post? I looked over it today and felt really pleased with myself. Why? Because:

1. Buy a bike, and practice riding. Purely so I don't screw myself over at the TTP fundraiser again this year! My bike is on order and coming in the next couple of days. My friend Lydia got me to sign up to Herbalife, because I don't like having a stomach, and one of my goals is to ride for 20 minutes, three times a week. Chloe's 3-speed bike is not adequate, especially when it comes to the TTP bike ride fundraiser. So half a tick.

2. Edit uprooted. Publish if I can. Half a tick again, since I'm almost done with my edit. And yes, I'm taking the wonderful advice I received on the Uprooted blog and when I publish, I will be sure to credit each and every wonderful person. No one book is ever the efforts of one person.

3. Finish departed. Check! God, I am going to fucking hate editing that one.

4. Finish reunited. Check! And I look forward to editing this one.

5. Plan the next four books properly. Book four planned. Five, six and seven left to do. Seven is the one that concerns me most for content. Four, five and six are going to be massive at the moment.

6. Finish my other writing projects (sporkings and fanfics). Finished sporking Billy and Me, check. Finished Sammy (Supernatural fanfic 1) - no. Forgot the plot. Wrote it in my diary. Lost my diary. I could wrap it up in one chapter. Potential to finish in a week. Finished Cassandra Teal (Supernatural fanfic 2. Destiel) almost - one more chapter. Finished Gank The Teacher (Supernatural fanfic 3) … let's not talk about that. I have a few scenes for it, but it's so low down on my list of priorities, and no one really read it. Also, since that, I started The Road So Far (Supernatural fanfic 4) but that's a series of drabbles with no definitive ending, so I can cheat with that one. That's the window always open.

7. Finish reading The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. I left them at the Ents. I got past the Ents! They trapped Saruman in that tower and I left them there. That's probably the same chapter. It's not that the story bores me, but my attention-span is not good for the series right now. Still, I have 10 months to finish the Two Towers and read all of the Return of the King.

8. Stop buying shit I don't need (this is the first one I'll break). I broke this one.

9. Reply to emails, texts and messages, since I'm shit at that (or this one, I might break this one really quickly). You know what it is? Something will ping up and I'll read it and think 'I have no time to answer now, I'll do it later, that'll give me time to think up a response' and then I'll get sidetracked. Yeah, this got broken too.

10. Be more organised in general. I hate me sometimes.

So, there we go. I've finished two, four more are in the works, the other one I need to motivate myself for more, and there are three failed. Three I was always going to fail. But two completed by mid February? Not bad, considering there's been so much going on for me in the mean time.

An idea

So, I follow a few blogs, not many, but a few. I've mentioned some as I go along, but how do you feel about learning about the blogs? They're an influence on my life, after all. I'm not sure if I'd do blogger interviews or just explain why I read the blogs. Blogger interviews are everywhere.

I also want to change the design of this blog, but I don't know that sort of thing well. Any suggestions of how to go about it? I have a couple of ideas.

And I am doing the next episode of Supernatural, but I've been editing Uprooted, and it's slow-going because my concentration is wrecked and I came across the section where Carter saw the car accident when I was learning about my nanny's post mortem (brainstem/pontine haemorrhage. 80% fatality. I still blame myself. Unrelated, but she also had a weak heart and bronchial pneumonia, which I was worrying I had a few months ago so I know how bad that was. She blew it off as nothing and sucked a few hard-boiled sweets instead of getting some advice) that was hard to read through. I line edited, I couldn't properly edit that scene. Although as I read it, and Carter was explaining some of his feelings, I had a weird moment where I agreed with what he was saying, and then I had to remind myself that it came from me in the first place?

Still, I've deleted one major scene, I'm debating about the quality of about 30 pages worth which may go through a complete rewrite because they ruin the pace (but the content is part of the main overall plot, so I can't just scrap it) and I've done a lot of line editing, considering I hate it. I'm twelve pages away from finishing it and sending it to another couple of writers I know, with notes on how much I hate those 30 pages but they're staying for when I'm not a completed mentoid.

But it's not all bad news for Uprooted. Every now and then I found myself just reading, not scrutinising, so I'd like to believe those are my strong points? I don't know.

This is difficult

Not difficult in comparison to my last post, but I'm editing Uprooted, for the first time in about a year. It's slow going and I've expanded some things and deleted others and concentrating is helping me avoid the real issue at the moment.

I'm on page 169 of 274 right now, and although I know why I included this part, and why that section is relevant, I'm now wondering how much of it I need.

I'm clearly in the wrong frame of mind for this. I want to delete plot points. Or maybe rewrite. I don't want to rewrite again, but hmmmm. I go to sleep thinking about Carter and Lambrini when they're 20, 22, 25, 30, 50 … I may have distance from this book, but I never get distance from the story. The later stories don't refer to the earlier ones as much as they maybe should, because I'm already resolving the first books remaining issues in the third and fourth books in order to introduce new themes in their lives, so maybe that's the influence in me wanting to delete about 30 pages of storyline.

Those who have read … thoughts? I clearly need a professional editor.

**Edit** and now I'm on page 183 of 274 and my eyes are crossing over. I'm going to stop for now.

I can't think of an appropriate title for this at the moment. I know a lot of people who read this - all two of you - already know, but on the off-chance that there are people who read that I'm not aware of, I'm going to explain my last post.

My nanny (for the non-Brits, this is my grandmother, but she wanted to be known as nanny. It's a British thing) has been staying with my family for the last week. It was my birthday, then my parents 25th wedding anniversary (and celebration), my sister's birthday, and my cousins were over from Australia, so we had her over for the week so we didn't have to fuss over travelling back and forth from her house to ours. She came the day after my birthday, when I was making the cake for my parents anniversary dinner.

And the anniversary dinner was cool, we had a room off the dining room of a hotel and ate a huge carver dinner (my role was feeding my youngest niece. She decided I was Spoon Filler.) and my parents hired a limo for the thing so that was cool.

And since it's crazy-celebration-week in my house, we'd been having Chinese and pizza and stuff. On my sister's birthday, we had an Indian. My nan had jacket potatoes instead, but she tried an onion bhaji (and asked if it was Chinese, so we all took the piss, because that is my family) and we all talked about the next day, and seeing my cousins.

The next morning, we all noticed she was sleeping in - because she has a replaced hip, she can't go upstairs and the best thing for her is our sofa-bed in the front room, so she's right in the middle of where absolutely everyone walks - and we all decided to let her. She's in her eighties, we were being nice. And time got away from me, and I realised it was lunchtime. As I was making my lunch, my brother walked in the room and said we needed to call an ambulance, because he'd just heard a weird noise from Nanny, and seen that she'd been sick and tried to wake her up. And I freaked, because I'm swell under pressure. He called the non-emergency number, figuring if they thought it was an emergency they'd push us right up the queue and I tried to get hold of our parents because that's about all I could do, and within about five minutes, an ambulance showed up. They tried to wake her up, and couldn't, so they put her in the ambulance, tried to bring her round again, nothing doing. So they took her to the emergency room and I kept my parents updated when I wasn't picking my boy up from school.

My sister and I decided that we'd try and keep his routine normal, as much as we could, just in case it was nothing. And (ha, my boss reads this, you will forgive me though) I went to work, and kept my mobile on me, texting my sister and asking her for updates. About 8 she told me she had to call, because she couldn't put it in a text. At that point I was pretty much like 'shit'. But I said I couldn't use the phone because I was working, and I couldn't leave work. I told her I'd phone when I finished instead, and she told me to go to the hospital straight after.

I did, but I called on my way out and my dad said he'd meet me there, and then he told me outside the emergency wing that Nanny had died about an hour before. She'd had a brain haemorrhage, and possibly a stroke, and she'd had a CT scan but there was nothing they could have done. She'd had the haemorrhage sometime in the early morning, before we'd all woken up, and at that moment it was already too late.

I can't get my head around so much of it. I'm trying to think of other things because it's like a giant puzzle I'll never manage. She'd haemorrhaged and would never recover in the morning but she was breathing when we saw her in the morning? She was only really dead at the time they called it? I don't know. And my nanny was like, so active and with it. It was really fucking sudden. We used to joke that she'd climbed out of the primordial ooze and would be around long after humans otherwise died out. And she called us all cheeky buggers, but it stemmed from something real. We never thought she'd go that way. I grieved for my Nain for years before she finally died, I saw her husband dying before that. My other grandfather was killed in a car accident, so even if I disliked the suddenness, it made some sense and allowed me to blame someone. But Nanny was different to them.

I'm blaming myself so badly for just walking past the bed, thinking I was being nice by letting her sleep. I recorded a show she liked for when she would wake up. But we all did it, and for the same reasons. It's hard not to feel culpable. But like my brother pointed out - if she was in her flat, she might not have been found for days, maybe weeks. At least in our house, in that room, she had a chance, if there was a chance. That makes it slightly easier. I don't like being in that room any more. And I was a bit of a dick to her the last few days, she kept coughing and I kept saying 'oh, die quieter, Nan.' It was meant to be a joke, she wasn't supposed to make a point with it.

What really throws me is that everyone has said it's a preferable death. It was quick, it was in her sleep. And this boggles my mind so much. She had a brain bleed, was she asleep at that moment? She was unconscious when we found her. And the times they're giving for the haemorrhage, it makes it sound like she spent most of the day dying. Like 15 hours. This is a quick and painless death? Her brain broke, her breathing was like a deep sleep, and there was so little dignity when we saw them cut away her nightie and attach pads to track her breathing and blood pressure. Why would that be preferable?

I will get back to blogging soon. Probably when I want to blank the whole thing. The next Supernatural episode will take me a little while, but not because of this. Nanny didn't die from an Indigenous American curse. At least they don't do peaceful deaths in Supernatural.

Unexpected hiatus

Aka don't expect shit all from me for like, a week.

There are reasons, I'm sure I'll explain it due course. But for now ... I'm trying to not be in such a shitty mood by remembering conversations about Chinese onion bhajis. You won't get it, don't worry.

Departed

I made a booboo with my writing. I decided to leave the end of Departed until I'd written some of Reunited for NaNo. And then I got ridiculously into Reunited, and finished it, and now I'm back on Departed and I'm struggling, because books 4-7 keep invading my head. It's like pulling teeth. I have like, three or four plot points left, and I'm still 33,000 words shy of the third book, and 45,000 words shy of the first. I'm not hugely worried if it's the shortest story, but it does leave me feeling that maybe I split the story lines in a weird place. It's got the smallest time frame for action, although I shaved down the time for Reunited because it was taking so long.

Maybe it's a struggle because there's not such a range of supporting characters like the rest of the books? It's literally the main two characters, and their families, in this book. Unlike the first where you're constantly meeting new people, and the third where the focus is on their futures. This one is more of an answer for some of the questions in the first. I hope, anyway. If I have any talent, whatsoever. It's doubtful, at this point.

Siobhan watches: Supernatural: Season One, Episode seven. "Hook Man."

Hook Man is a relatively short episode, sitting at 38 minutes and 55 seconds. This may be one of my shortest recaps yet!

The story starts at Theta Sorority, Eastern Iowa University. A preppy girl walks into a dorm room and asks her friend what she thinks of the outfit she's in. before the friend can say more than 'um' she compares her choices to Martha stewart. The friend goes to her dresser and pulls out a small camisole, telling her to swap her clothes over to that. She puts it on and the friend calls her hot. She leaves for the date she's been dressing up for, and her friend calls out not to do anything she wouldn't do. The preppy girl says there isn't anything she wouldn't do.

Oh, I know, I know, this doesn't sound scary! This sounds like a teen movie, or a romcom or something. But actually, I think they're being pretty smart here. Preppy girl is symbolic of all the virgins in horror films who never die because they're virtuous. This episode is basically the reasoning behind why the virgin might live. This is exposition, suck it up.

Preppy girl's date pulls up in a quiet spot, under a railway bridge. She mentions the fact they're meant to be going to a party, and he says they'll be fashionably late. She tells him she thinks he brought her out there on purpose, and he acts surprised that she would think that. She then reaches over and kisses him. Her phone starts ringing, and they break off the kiss. Her father's calling. She hangs up, and they start kissing in the car again. He starts trying to slide his hand in her top, and she tells him No. Outside the car, a figure holding a hook starts moving towards the car.

There's the Supernatural we know and love and want Dean's babies from!

He starts kissing her neck, trying to get into her top again, and the figure outside draws its hook along a sign, the metal screeching and disturbing them both. The figure starts scratching along another road sign as they both turn to look. The guy, Rich, decides to leave the car and look around for what's going on, as she begs him not to leave her. As he looks around, the car starts being carved out by the hook, but this time the Hook Man is invisible. She calls out to Rich to go, as the tyres are deflated one by one.

She calls out again for Rich, but gets no reply. She starts locking the doors and trying to wind his window up, feeling panicked. She looks around her, panting, and calling for Rich again. Something heavy pounds on the top of the car, and the girl screams, hiding in the footwell as there are more thumps and sounds of metal scraping. The noises eventually stop, and she works up the courage to leave the car, running back towards civilisation. She stops halfway along the road and hesitantly looks back. Rich is above the car, hanging from the railway bridge, gouge marks from the hook along his torso. She screams.

That opening sequence took five minutes. Easily one of Supernatural's longest ones. And on one of the shortest episodes too.

Sam is on a pay phone, thanking someone for their time. He hangs up and walks into a cafe's patio, where Dean is on form.

Dean - "Your half-caf double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Frances."
Sam - "Bite me."

Sam sits down, and Dean bends over their laptop. Sam starts talking about calling the FBI for anyone matching their father's description, and running his licence plates in case John had any traffic violations. Dean says "Sam, I'm telling you, I don't think Dad wants to be found." before changing the subject to a potential case he's found. It is, of course, a story on Rich's death.

Can I just hold the phone to say - I fucking hate John for this. Dean and Sam are doing everything they can at this point to locate him, he used to be a team with Dean and he's just bailed? Worse, we find out later on that he knows exactly what they've tried to do to find him, and he's evaded them on purpose. You don't fucking do that to your kids, man, especially when you're their only parent. I don't think Dean was saying at this point that he doesn't care about John either, I think he was acknowledging what John wanted and he's so fucking brainwashed that he'll go along with it. He needs Sam to be whiny and pushy to get mad at the man who's screwed him up. And that is why I love Sam.

They drive to Iowa and pull up at Rich's house. They approach his fraternity brothers and claim they're from the Ohio Chapter. They wrangle a place in the frat house, and walk into their temporary room where a boy is painting himself purple. The kid asks for help painting his back, and tells them there's a game on. Dean immediately passes the job to Sam, saying he's the artist. He deadpans "The things he can do with a brush."

No one buys Dean's macho bullshit.

Dean starts asking the kid - Murphy - about Rich's murder as Sam paints him. Murphy tells them the rumours going around about the killer, and then mentions the girl Rich was on a date with. Lori. Dean asks about her, teasing Sam at the same time for missing a spot. Sam shoots him a bitchface, but carries on. Murphy tells Dean that Lori is a local girl, and a reverend's daughter, and Dean asks which church.

A sermon is going on, and Dean and Sam walk in, disturbing the reverend's words as he prays for Rich.

This is the first time they step into a church. They do a lot of stuff in the church, since a lot of canon is Christian-based. It actually feels weird that it's taken them so long.

The reverend continues the sermon, asking the congregation to pray for Rich. Sam begins to join in, and has to nudge Dean to at least look like he's praying.

There is so much I could say about this, but I'll try to do it as it comes up in canon. For now, Dean isn't particularly religious. I guess his daddy didn't drum into him that if there are demons, and hell? Heaven could be real too. But since Sam always stuck his fingers up at John, pretty much, he's more accepting of all possibilities.

As they're leaving the church, Lori's friend tries to encourage her to socialise, just the girls. Lori says she can't, it's a Sunday night. Her friend says they're just going to do shots and watch TV, but Lori insists on a family dinner. her friend reminds her that, although it's bad that Rich died, she is still allowed to have some fun. The friend leaves, and Sam approaches Lori. They use the excuse they they've transferred to the university, and Sam tells Lori he knows what she's going through, hinting at Jessica's death.

The reverend comes along then, and Lori introduces Sam and Dean to her father. Dean tells him the sermon was inspiring, and the reverend replies that it's nice to see young people care about God so much.

No, Dean's just really skilled at bullshitting. By good, I mean horrendously obvious.

Dean walks off with the reverend, feeding him some line about a church group, while Sam stays and asks Lori what the police are doing. She says she thinks they blame her for not having much to go on. That she thinks she was so scared she was seeing things. Sam tells her that it doesn't mean it wasn't real.

We cut to the library, and Dean's asking Sam if he believes her. Sam says yes, and Dean calls her hot. Sam mentions her eyes. He then explains how Lori found Rich, and Dean says it sounds like the Hook Man legend.

10.49 in, and we have confirmation of the lore! But this one is interesting, because we know the problem, we know the solution really quickly, but the Hook Man's motives? That's the main conflict in this episode. Who controls him? How? Why?

As they debate over the origin of the legend and whether it's THE Hook Man, Sam suggests the Hook Man isn't a man in that sense, but some kind of spirit. They get arrest records for the last 155 years for the area, and sit there, going through evidence sheets. Dean asks if that's how Sam spent the past four years of his life, and Sam replies with "Welcome to higher education."

Dean could not have looked more pissed off at that.

After going through all the boxes, Sam is at another desk with more information, and he calls for Dean's attention. There was a case where a priest got so angry about a red-light district in the town, he killed 13 prostitutes. Some were murdered in their beds, some were hung upside down. The preacher had lost his hand in an accident and had it replaced with a silver hook - the murder weapon. The murders took place on the same stretch of road that Rich was killed.

We see a car pull up to the sorority house, and inside the reverend is talking with Lori. She thinks he's upset because her mother died and now she lives in the house and he's alone. He says no, he just worries about her. She tells him that she's safe in her sorority house, there's 22 other girls. He says he knows what goes on in a sorority.

I think the reverend has made the same mistake I did recently, and read Bad Rep by A Meredith Walters. It's bad narration, poor story-telling and far too many fingering scenes. I'm with you, reverend.

She tells him she's over 18, she's smart enough and needs to have her own life. He says what, to get drunk and party? She says she can take care of herself, and gets out of the car.

She goes in, and walks up the stairs, pausing by a Sister's door where her Sister is obviously studying, surrounded by books and typing slowly. She heads into her room, and is about to turn on the light when she sees her roommate - the girl from earlier - fast asleep. Lori leaves the light off, and gets into bed.

Dean and Sam pull up to the scene of Rich's death, grabbing some equipment out of the trunk. Sam says if it's a spirit then a gun won't do much good, and Dean shows him the shot rounds that he's filled with rock salt. Sam asks if their dad started doing that, and Dean tells him he can be a genius without graduating from college. They notice something moving through the trees, and aim their gun at it. A police officer barges through the underbrush, wielding a gun of his own and demanding they drop their gun, and put their hands behind their backs, on their knees.

Bit OTT, but then, I don't understand gun laws, exactly. I do like that position for them though … but they're still as dangerous as hell, mr officer dude.

Lori stirs in her bed, smiling, then opens her eyes, and frowns. On the hardwood floor, there's a puddle, and we see red drips on the comforter. Lori's eyes widen as she sees the mess that was her friend, and sits up straight to scream. Then she notices the message on the wall. And screams again.

The boys walk out of the local sheriff department, with Dean crowing about how he's saved Sam's ass by talking the sheriff down to a fine. He compares himself to Matlock. Sam asks how, and Dean said it was a haze for a pledge. When Sam asks how Dean explained the gun, he says he told the sheriff the truth, that Sam was hunting ghosts and spirits are repelled by rock salt.

lol, Dean's such a dick.

They get to the Impala, and see the officers in the sheriff's department running out quickly, heading to their cars and running the lights and sirens. They look at each other, and decide to follow.

At the sorority house, Lori is sitting on the back of an ambulance, wrapped in a blanket. She sits up as Sam and Dean drive past. We see the reverend talking to the sheriff, and he's saying that he just wants to take Lori home. The sheriff says he can't allow it, because now Lori is connected to two murders. The reverend says they either arrest her there or then, or he gets to take her home. The sheriff tells him to make her available for questioning.

Sam and Dean park at the back of the sorority house, and sneak around it. Sam asks Dean why the Hook Man would possibly go there, so far away from the road. Dean says maybe it's not about the scene of the crime, but about something else. They see two girls leave the house, and pin themselves to the wall. Dean grins. "Dude, sorority girls! Think we'll see a naked pillow fight?"

And yet, I still would. What does that say about me, that I even think he's charming saying junk like that?

Sam scales the house, and dean follows him, until they get to the first floor balcony. Sam tries the window there, and it slides right open.

Two tall, fairly grubby men, sneaking into a sorority house in broad daylight, in view of the officers down below? Yeah, that looks good.

They bicker as they go through the window about being quiet, and end up in a closet. They peek through the gap in the door until the officer in the room has left, and then they enter the crime scene. They see the message on the wall and Sam says it's right out of the legend. Dean taps his nose and says it's definitely a spirit, and Sam says he's never smelt ozone so strong before.

I think the writers forget they made ghosts smell after this episode. They never forget about the smell of demon possession. But I'm glad Sam spelt that out then, because they have such elaborate hand gestures for everything that the nose-tap could mean literally anything. It could mean 'fuck, Sam, there's a spirit right behind you' for all I knew of the smell of spirits. Beyond the yumminess of amaretto, anyway.

They compare the symbol on the wall to the one on the old preacher's hook, and the symbol's match. Sam says it must be the spirit of Jacob Carnes, the preacher. Dean says they need to salt and burn. Sam reads out from the case notes that Jacob was buried in a cemetery - of which they have the name - in an unmarked grave. Dean's happy noise at the mention of the cemetery dies.

Sam starts wondering where he'll appear next and why. Dean notices a ticket on his car and pulls it off, then says he thinks Lori has something to do with the why.

They go to a frat house, where a party is in full swing. Dean looks at Sam.

Dean - "Man, you've been holding out on me. This college things is awesome!"
Sam - "This really wasn't my experience."
Dean - "Oh, let me guess, library, studying, straight A's." *Sam nods* "What a geek. All right, did you do your homework?"

Sam says yes, the connection between the Hook Man and Lori was annoying him, so he came up with something. Sam has two more cases where a preacher had murdered others they believed were immoral and then blamed an invisible force. All murders were carried out with a sharp instrument. Dean asks what the connection to Lori is, and Sam says maybe the Hook Man's connected to Lori's dad, and this is about Lori, instead of the morality of the entire town. They debate whether the reverend is summoning the Hook Man, or whether he's being haunted, like a poltergeist.

And lo, we hear about poltergeist criteria in the middle of a Hook Man episode! Which is kinda cool, because we can see how they compare the different elements of the supernatural world and notice the finite differences that alter how they can save the day.

Dean tells Sam to keep an eye on Lori, and when Sam asks what Dean's going to do, he looks around at the party, and the girls eyeing him up, and then claims he's going to the cemetery to look for the unmarked grave.

The scene cuts to Dean, who is walking through a cemetery, flashlight in one hand and spade in the other. He hears some crunching underfoot, and stops, looking around before walking on slowly. Eventually he stops, and mutters "Here we go." before approaching a gravestone with the crucifix symbol on it.

Meanwhile, Sam is walking slowly by the church, looking up into a lit, unobscured window to where Lori and her father seem to be having an argument.

Dean is down the hole he has dug for the grave, sweaty and dirty. He tells himself that next time, he gets to watch the pretty girls house, as he pants with the effort. His spade eventually goes through the wooden slats of the coffin, and he breaks a few more slats into the cavity, until he can see the remains.  He throws the spade to the side.

In Lori's dad's house, the argument finishes and the light is turned off. Sam is sitting nearby on a bench, and Lori approaches him. She tells him she saw him, and asks what he's doing. Sam tells her he was worried, and she tells him it's cool, and jokes that she already called the cops. She tells him that she thinks he's sweet, so he should probably run, because she's feeling cursed.

Dean goes through his bag, grabbing a tub of salt and a bottle of lighter fluid. He covers the bones in salt, squirts the lighter fluid onto the bones, and lights a match, which he throws onto the pile. He stands there and watches it burn.

Lori is filling Sam in on what's being going on at college since her friend died, and how she's being ostracised. She says her father's only advice is to pray and have faith, and then she tells Sam he doesn't have a clue about faith. Sam admits to hearing her fighting with her father, and she tells Sam that he's been seeing a woman. A married one. She starts talking about morality and her father's conflicting messages, and Sam listens intently the whole time.

God, that's a lot of description, sorry. I kinda hate having to recap when they split the boys off and do that back and forth because I don't know how confusing it is to read. It's far less confusing to watch.

Anyway, this is the sort of moment that I love with Sam. He can be so patient and open and compassionate with people. He's giving her some major puppy eyes too. But as much as it seems like he's just letting her cry over his shoulder, he's listening. He's making the connections. He scored really high on the LSAT's, remember?

Lori reaches over and hugs Sam, playing with his hair. He puts his arms around her too, and when she goes in for a kiss, he does nothing to stop her.

Seven episodes in and it's like 'Jess who?'

Kidding! He'll have his fair share of women, but he'll still bang on about her. This one doesn't die. Statistically, a third of the women he does date, die. Fun with numbers! We'll let him have his snog-fest for now. Unlike her father …

He pulls away from her, and tells her he can't do that. She asks if it's because of the person he lost, and then apologises. At that moment, the reverend opens the door and calls her in. She says she'll come in when she's ready, and behind him, the Hook Man manifests and stabs her father with his hook. Both Lori and Sam start, as the reverend is pulled back into the house, yelling. Sam reaches into his bag and pulls out his gun loaded with salt. He runs into the house and follows the sounds of the reverends pleas.

The door at the end of the hallway bangs shut, and Sam runs forward, kicking it open and shooting at the Hook Man as he stands over the reverend. Lori hears the gun shots and goes flying in after them, running straight to her dad as Sam looks around for the Hook Man.

At the hospital, Lori's dad is in a bed, and Lori is fussing over him as Sam gives a statement to the sheriff about what happened. The sheriff points out that every time there's something going on since Rich's death, he's seeing Sam. He tells Sam to stay out of trouble.

And Sam looks so wide-eyed and innocent that everyone buys it that he's cowed by this and will do his very best, mister, to be a good boy!

Down the hallway, Dean is trying to get close, telling the officers that Sam's his brother. The sheriff calls for them to let Dean through. The sheriff dismisses Sam to let him talk to Dean. Dean asks what happened and Sam tells him, it was the Hook Man. He asks why Dean didn't salt and burn, and Dean says he did. Dean asks if they've got the right person, and Sam says he's sure. He also thinks the Hook Man isn't connected to the reverend. Dean says duh, why would he send it after himself? Sam says he thinks it's Lori, and sums up everything Lori told him, emphasising the parts relevant to the case.

I love how Sam never edits for Dean when it comes to women. It gets really bad in season four with Ruby, ha!

Sam connects all cases to their immorality, and Dean says "Remind me not to piss this girl off." Dean wonders why salting and burning the body hasn't stopped the Hook Man. Sam says he must have missed something. Dean says no, the coffin was completely wasted, and Sam asks if he got the hook.

This goes with what I was saying the other time! Possessing a personal item that may have some bodily residue. Wait until it's a kidney transplant ;)

They go back to the library, looking for traces of where the hook could be. Dean finds a penitentiary itinerary for Jacob Carnes, and Sam asks about the hook. They find that when Jacob died, all his personal effects went back to the church, which must be the link between all the other preacher murders. Sam asks why no one's seen the hook in the church, since a blood-stained silver hook might be noticeable. Dean decides they need to check the church records.

Off topic, but Dean keeps putting a pen lid in his mouth and then taking it out to talk. Normally, I hate when people do that. Normally. But right now, I wish I was a pen lid.

Sam finds an entry in the church records about the hook, and finds that it was reforged. They drive back to the church, where Dean starts instructing Sam to put everything that's made from silver in a fire, to avoid taking any chances. Lori and her father are still at the hospital, so they need to break in. Sam takes the house, and Dean takes the church. As Sam walks off, Dean calls after him to stay out of her underwear drawer. Sam gives Dean a dirty look.

Yeah, Dean, as if Sam would be that crass!

In the church, Dean has lit a fire in the fireplace and thrown salt on it to purify. He starts throwing in all the silverware he could get his hands on. He turns as someone opens the door, and Sam comes in with a bulging bag, saying he grabbed anything that even looked silver. As they throw pieces on the fire, they hear a creaking overhead, and dust falls down between the floorboards. Someone else is inside the church. Dean orders Sam to move.

They walk out into the main area of the church, and see Lori near the pulpit, praying in a front pew. Dean nods at Sam to go talk to her, and walks back into the alcove where they have the fire going. Lori is crying as Sam approaches, and when he asks her what's wrong she says she's figured out what's been happening, and she's praying for forgiveness. She mentions avenging angels, and Sam says that the Hook Man is no angel.

Knowing what some of the angels in future series can be like … hmmmm. He's no Castiel, for sure. But hey, only 54 more episodes until we get him. I know, too long a wait, right?

As Lori gets her feelings off her chest, and Sam listens and tries to rationalise what's been going on, we can see something manifesting at the back of the church. The Hook Man is there.

Which completely destroys the belief that churches are sanctuaries from all evil. There's no place to hide. Except maybe the Men of Letters bunker, but we're even further away from that. Season Eight.

When Lori says she's the one who deserves to be punished, Sam hears a chain link rattle, and stands up, looking at the alter where the candles flicker out. He tells her they need to go and starts to lead her out of the church, but as he opens the door, the Hook Man appears, slashing his hook forward. Sam slams the door on the hook and orders Lori to go, to run. He runs with her past the alter, into the clergy rooms behind. As he gets her into one room, the Hook Man smashes his hook through the glass panel in the door behind Sam.

The Hook Man takes a few swipes at Sam, who ducks out of the way and moves Lori further away from him. The Hook Man materialises between them as they run, and  Sam jumps in the way of the hook. The Hook Man dematerialises again, and Lori is flung along the floor into the main area. Sam goes running up to her, holding his bleeding arm, and manages to check that she's okay before the Hook Man rematerialises again, bitch-slapping Sam out of the way. Sam is slammed into a bookcase, which then falls on him.

Sam will get out, relatively unharmed. He has superpowers.

Sam gets up, and approaches the Hook Man. Dean, having heard the commotion, comes running out of his alcove, shot gun in hand. He shouts for Sam to drop, and fires a shot. The Hook Man disappears, and a huge lump of dry wall falls out. Before the Hook Man reappears, Sam says he thought they got all the silver. Dean said they did, but they must have missed something if he was still there.

Sam looks at Lori, and notices a necklace she's wearing. When he asks where she got it, she says from her father. He had told her it was a church heirloom. Sam asks if it's silver and when she says yes, he pulls the chain, snapping it off her neck. In the wall behind Dean, an invisible hook starts scoring the wall. Dean throws Sam the shot gun, and goes running off when Sam throws him the necklace.

Sam aims a shot at where the Hook Man might be, based on the wall scratching, and drops closer to Lori, changing the shot pellet and groaning with the pain in his slashed hand. Meanwhile, Dean has made it to the fire, and throws the necklace in, standing there and waiting for it to melt. Sam finishes loading the shot gun one handed, and as he goes to aim it again, it's smacked out of his hand. The Hook Man approaches Sam and Lori again, both of them now unprotected on the floor.

As he stands over them, the hook begins to melt, as the pendant below does, and the Hook Man burns to cinders in front of them. Dean comes running back, and Sam sits up, cradling his hand.

The next day, outside, Dean is now answering the sheriff's questions. When the sheriff begins chewing Dean out, he promises that they're leaving town. Lori approaches the ambulance that Sam's sat on the back of, and Dean climbs in the Impala, watching in the side mirror as Sam says goodbye to Lori. She thanks him, and he walks over to the Impala, holding his arm up as he does. Dean offers to stay around a while, but Sam shakes his head, facing forward sullenly.

That's such a sad ending to me. I mean, I get that he's still upset over Jess, but he had a good connection to Lori. Maybe he was just focused on the case or something. I don't know.

This has been really descriptive heavy, I'm sorry about that. It's short and action-packed, and there wasn't so much to analyse. The next episode is Bugs, which is a funny episode so hopefully there's more dialogue to go through.