Writer's group

So, I went to the writer's group on Saturday. Sarah-Jane had transportation issues so we couldn't sit together :( but I was there about the same time Sofia (spelling checked, lol!) was there so I didn't feel like a complete loser going in.

It was good, the people seem really friendly. We started with about 30-40 minutes of a writing task, then people read them out, then there was a brief tea-and-chat break, and then people talked about their monthly targets and the anthologies they've been working on.

The writing challenge was good. I think I did okay with it, but in a situation like that, maybe it's just me, but I didn't want to read my writing out until I gauged the calibre of the room. Is that really bad of me? Like, I know we're all from different styles, genres, target audiences, experience, life goals … but I didn't want to read it out and have that feeling of 'well, they're being nice but I can tell they think it's shit'. So maybe if I write something I like next month, I'll read it out, because the stuff they read out was good, but not to a point where I'd think 'oh shit, I'm so bad at this in comparison'. Crippling self-doubt is such a pleasant part of being a writer.

I think I have a couple of ideas for the Christmas anthology I've been invited to take part in. Got to work on those. I also said I'd do their flash fiction monthly project, which I'll work on tomorrow. I freaking love writing!

Although I'm doing that thing again that I do frequently where I've written a good 3k today and I'm like 'ugh, I'm so uninspired and lazy with my writing' and all the writers I know struggling to hit 500w want me to die. I think the difference is, sometimes when I'm writing, although I'm picturing it and can get down the basics of a scene I don't feel it, and I'm such an emotional writer that if I don't enjoy it as I'm typing I don't think it's any good, even though reading through later it feels fine. So I may have 3k but in my head I have 3k of utter shit whereas you have 500w of well crafted words. Which one of us is honestly the better writer, there?

This is why I'm so glad that Cynthia's got such great advice. She keeps telling me she wants more from me, but giving great examples and last time she looked over a piece I did, she got it to go from 1.2k to 3.2k. And it's one of the most intense pieces I've ever done. She's freaking inspirational! I wish I was confident enough in breaking down the rules of grammar that seem so inherent in me, that I could explain things in the way she does. This is why I'd never be an editor, lol, I can't get a teacher head on. Which is bizarre, because I'm related to a lot of teachers.

I'm rambling now, Apologies.